10 things the Mother’s Day cards don’t acknowledge

It’s lovely that motherhood has a day to celebrate it but Hallmark platitudes don’t always get to the heart of what it is to actually be a mother.

Here’s my list of things that the chocolates and the flowers and the three shelves of pink merchandise at Tesco sometimes fail to recognise:

1. That you don’t suddenly develop a penchant for soul classics, ballads or Take That once you become responsible for another human being.
2. That much of your mothering efforts involve persuading people to do things they don’t want to do.
3. The many uneaten meals you’ve cooked.
4. The extra inches you carry around the gut from picking at uneaten meals.
5. That mostly you’re making it up as you go along.
6. The knee-ache and back-ache you develop from picking things up from the floor ten times a day.
7. That sometimes your favourite part of mothering is when they’re asleep.
8. Your inability to be shocked or offended by any bodily function.
9. That you’d do it all over again if you had to, and you’ll never resign.
10. That you couldn’t do it without your extended network of family, friend, childcare professionals, teachers, football coaches, and other adults who also play an important role in your children’s lives.